The Worlds Best Women Jokes

Product Information

If women are bad at parallel parking, it's only because we've been constantly lied to about what 8 inches is. A very smart and in depth reply: Marriage is like 2 wires of electricity. If both wires connected correctly – there is light otherwise blast… A Canadian, an Italian, and a Russian are looking at a painting of Adam and Eve. The Canadian starts, “See how polite and respectful they look? They must be Canadian.”

After consideration, the judge decided to sentence her one night of prison for every peach she stole. Six nights total. I’ll never forget my dad’s final few words before he passed away: “You fastened the Bungee jumping cord, right, son?” Women say their number one fear of online dating is the guy will be a serial killer. Men say their number one fear is the woman will be fat. Oh, mom, please!” replies the daughter. “If he’s not kind, then why is he doing 300 hours of community service?!” How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None. It’s not the light bulb that needs changing.

Imagine if girls used the same style of joke to degrade men, like, “Cool story, bro, now go chop some wood.” Don’t worry, I have a plan,” said God with a smile on his face, “You’ll see what kind of neighbors I’m giving them.” * * * He forgot to wrap his Whopper. 50. After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?

A recent article in the Dominion Post reported that a woman has sued Wellington Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in s**.... Brian had asked Dave to help him out with cutting his rather large garden hedge after work, so Dave went straight over to Brian's Two blond women are going to Disneyland by car. One of them saw the sign “Disneyland Left”. They no longer headed to Disneyland. They just turned the car and went home.The Russian finally says, “They have nothing to wear, no house to live in, only one apple to eat, and they keep being told that they’re in heaven. They’re obviously Russian.” * * * A couple of offensive (and very messed up) de@d baby jokes An Italian woman is pregnant. You congratulate her. She says "Grazie". What do you say to her after that? Prego. Your bold declarative statements of what ‘real’ women do and say are a huge help to us, velveteen women. So, thanks.” — @FeralCrone

Women can bleed for 7 days without dying, Produce milk without eating grass, and bury a bone without digging a hole. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially.

The first guy asks his friend, “Do you think we should do it?” His friend replies, “Of course not! Are you out of your mind?” My wife and I decided that we didn’t want children. If anybody does, you can go and collect ours from somewhere along the I-95. What do a burned pizza, a frozen beer and a pregnant woman have in common? Someone didn't pull out in time