I’m not really the type of person to often speak out about issues which I hold dear to my heart, often due to anxiety and fear in the past I have found myself holding back from voicing my opinion, whether it be in vocal conversations, online conversations, or just posting them online in general. Recently, sadly due to extreme amounts of stress and upset I have spent my time re-evaluating various different situations and set backs I have had throughout the past few years, the things I have not been happy with and the things which I want to work on and improve upon in the future, and already this is introducing you to the topic of this post… Being , Loving and Empowering YOURSELF. The past two years have been emotionally and physically tiring and stressful for me for a combination of reasons. I have dedicated and wasted too much of my time on the wrong people, made bad personal decisions and allowed my general mental state to decrease in general; I have built myself back up, regained independence and control over myself, my opinion and my actions despite how many setbacks were thrown at me and became slightly more vocal amongst my friends and family about different topics and my opinions on them.
As people every day we are faced with multiple obstacles, whether it be relationships, friendships or family arguments they are almost impossible to avoid. Things become hard to deal with and we all have them days where we want to lock ourselves away from the world and cry whilst binge watching a show on Netflix: Here are some of my tips for dealing with the stress and troubles which life throws at you.
Face your feelings
Feelings are unavoidable and as much as you may want to ignore them and throw a smile on your face you are initially doing yourself more harm than good; this is something I’ve learnt over the past couple of months. If you are feeling bad about a situation accept your feelings, think about the causes and the outcome and hold in your mind that everything is going to get better, use every bad situation you find yourself in as a way to both empower and improve yourself, use it as a stepping stone to becoming the best version of yourself. Distracting yourself from an issue will not help you learn or benefit from the things which have happened and are likely to happen again in the future, accept and deal with your feelings and learn from them.
Open up to family and friends
As much as you may want to keep up a certain look infront of your friends or your family members, it is just as important to be honest with them as well as yourself, having a positive support network around you will both lift and empower you through whatever you are facing and you will not feel alone.
When we get hurt during a relationship or friendship or sometimes even family disagreement, as people our natural response is to release these feelings through anger or crying: you may want revenge, you may want to hurt the person who has hurt you…Don’t. Despite how much you are hurting inside by carrying on and dragging out the negative atmosphere between you the negative atmosphere is being dragged out too.
If something is broken beyond repair, do not keep hurting yourself trying to fix something which is obviously not meant to work. This advice sways more to the relationship side of things, but still remains extremely applicable to the topic. The best example I can think of to explain this is ‘If you were to smash a glass into hundreds of little pieces, it is broken: you are going to keep hurting yourself trying to fix it’. I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason, I believe everyone is in your life for a reason and that all things are just a part of your journey to happiness. Don’t try and cling on to something which is just going to keep hurting you in the long run. Distance and time heal the wounds but the scars are their to stay, once the damage is done accept it and think of it as another lesson learned, see what went wrong, how different things were handled and what should be done to make sure it doesn’t happen in the future.
Be honest not hurtful
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion about things which have happened, everyone has the right to express these opinions. This is something which I am still working on myself. In the moment we all say practically everything we can to try and voice our opinion, even if it doesn’t quite come out exactly as we plan, or give across the same message as what was initially in our heads. I am a firm believer in being “Brutally honest, but in the nicest way” and when I have a strong opinion on something or disagree with it I aim to voice my opinion in the nicest way.
Only speak with good intentions
The earth is filled with so much negativity and hate, it seems silly that we are still here every day using our words to try and cut each other down, or to try and belittle or hate on each other because of the opinions or views we hold in our minds. If you feel something is wrong, voice your opinion providing you are caring for the people involved, not just because it is making you unhappy. Think about others in the long run, speak with care and love and kindness.
Empower one another
This last tip is mainly a combination of the last two points I have stated: Use your words to encourage, support and empower each other. Compliment yourself, compliment your friends a little “You look good today”, “That colour really suits you” or even “I look hella cute today” can really help to improve or change their mindset and your own. Aim to encourage and empower everyone and accept nothing less back yourself. Remove negative people, negative things and negative situations from your life. Go at your own pace, learn from what has happened, do not rush, do not ignore feelings as it will damage you over time.
Aim to make the most of your life, don’t let anyone hold you back, don’t hold others back yourself.
Be the best version of you, love you, think for you, think for others and consider everyone.