How to know if you’re ready to come out to your friends and family
This topic is a tricky one, for some people who are still not fully ‘out’ to their friends and families the thought of telling them can make you want to run and hide away forever, for others however it’s an exciting idea. Everyone is different and that’s totally okay, some people go their entire lives without necessarily telling people that they’re gay, others do it at the first suitable opportunity. What matters the most is doing what you’re happiest and most comfortable with.
This blog post today isn’t going to be a post where I’m going to tell you that you have to go and come out to your parents, family or friends… That’s not at all what I’m trying to do. This blog post is going to just discuss some ways you can help decide if and when you’re ready.
It’s been over two years now since I actually came out to my family and friends myself, so I do know what it’s like to be in the shoes of someone who doesn’t know where to begin.
Honestly, in my opinion there are a number of different things you need to have around you in life to know when you’re ready to come out to your parents. These were things I had when I came out back in 2014, and still have in my life today.
Supportive Friends: Having a support system of friends and people who make you happy on a daily basis is such a great thing to have in general, but having this during the time when you want to come out to your family means that you’re always going to have people to fall back on, people who will be able to help you through whatever happens and people who will be able to make you smile
Confidence: Now I don’t mean confidence in the sense of performing, speaking in public or anything like that. When I say confidence, I mean confidence in yourself as a person and confidence that you know and are sure of exactly what it is you want in life. When you’re one hundred percent sure you have worked yourself out and are fully confident in that fact, it makes everything much clearer in your mind.
A Close Relative: This one is something you either have or you don’t have, it’s not necessarily needed, but if you have a relative, be it your mum, dad, brother sister or aunt… it’s going to make it much easier to come out to your family if you know you have at least one family member who is going to stick by you and support you.
No Pressure: If you’ve got pressure on you, be it from yourself or from friends to come out. It means that you’ve got an added weight and expectation on your shoulder and will increase your anxiety over the situation so much more than what it needs to be. Wait for a time when you don’t feel pressured and when it seems natural and calm, it’ll make everything a lot easier.
Happiness: This one is possibly the most important out of all the things I’ve mentioned, in fact.. it is. You need to be happy, in life, with yourself, and at home. “A happy you means a happy life”, I’m sure I read that somewhere? But anyway, when you’re happy, your family are happy and everything is running smoothly it’ll be generally easier for you to come out rather than it would be in a more stressful period.
They are just a few things, which in my experience are important to have in life, especially when you’re thinking about coming out and can definitley make the situation easier than what it would be anyway. These things might not necessarily be the case for everyone, but they were things which definitley assisted me in my life.
Do you have any tips for coming out? Comment them below or contact me on social media @jaacobblackwell