Episodes 3 hours ago Rich House, Poor House: Julie, Jazz and Catia (Channel 5 Sunday 5 November 2023) Learning new skills of communicating about conflict, rebuilding trust, rekindling physical and sexual connection, giving time and attention to how the problems have affected the children or other family members. All of that can happen with time and energy. People in Sam’s role can sometimes get lost in the details, wanting to know everything about the affair. For example, asking if Jennifer loved Anthony, or why she was attracted to him, may be important details for Sam to know. But Drs. John and Julie Gottman would suggest that he, and others like him, need to be careful, again recalling Dr. Glass’ admonitions concerning PTSD. He runs the risk of becoming re-traumatized by the revelation of intimate details, such as where the affair happened and what the sex was like. He can become obsessive, requesting too much information. Yet if not enough is asked and absorbed, it can lead to later regret. The latter reason may likely infuriate Sam. But it’s part of the process. The “story” usually emerges slowly, even though Sam might want the truth and all of the truth right away. Jennifer may not be able to do that. Remember, she’s now committed to the marriage and more than likely fears Sam’s reaction. That “too much too soon” may blow up in her face.

Shirley Glass Profiles | Facebook Shirley Glass Profiles | Facebook

Partners who didn’t expect it can experience feelings of unreality, as if they were disconnecting from the world. #1. Numbness How can you know you’re in a happy relationship that’s both good for your health and everyone around you? Can such a thing be measured? It can! The Gottman Relationship Adviser, the world’s first complete relationship wellness tool for couples, takes the guesswork out of improving your relationship. Measure your relationship health with a research-based self-assessment, then receive a tailored digital relationship plan proven to heal and strengthen your connection. Drs. John and Julie Gottman teach that talking about the context of the marriage doesn’t belong in the “Atonement” process, but belongs in the second “Attunement” phase of treatment. This may be easier said than done. I’ve found that as long as distinctions are being made, and very clear boundaries are formed—that nothing happened in the marriage to cause the betrayer to betray—that both can be discussed. However, it’s far better to keep them clear from one another, if possible. Give structure to communication about the affair The bidding partner soon enters the negative absorbing state, which is the negative affect from past failed bids building up with every new failed bid. It gets easier to get into the negative state but challenging to exit, resulting in a persistent negative state of mind. Soon unheeded requests turn out to be stressful and pointless arguments. Therefore bidding partner suppresses feelings and needs, leading to avoidance of conflict and self-disclosure. Investing less and comparing more It might be counterintuitive, but an emotional affair that is consumed later on will bond the affair partners much more strongly.

Unfaithful partners often suppress or gloss over any detail that is inconsistent with their values and wedding vows.

Psychologist SHIRLEY GLASS talks about infidelity : NPR Psychologist SHIRLEY GLASS talks about infidelity : NPR

The signs are indicative and there is no surefire way to tell that someone is having an affair. Some people are very, very good at lying and compartmentalizing lives.But soon after the relief comes a whirlwind of less positive emotions, including rage, disbelief and a general feeling that someone pulled the rag under them. #3. Obsession When this occurs, it’s very easy for the hurt partner to view this as more intentional deceit, which many betrayed people say is just as difficult to work through than any sexual or emotional indiscretion. The therapist needs to guide the couple carefully through the betrayer’s tangle of self-protection or protection of a lover and the defensiveness and shame that comes with it, as well as the betrayed’s desperately wanting and deserving “the absolute truth” and the sadness, rage, and fear that accompanies it. Geraldine James takes centre stage as Shirley and there is another foray into straight acting for Dave King as the mean Drake. Here are the steps that emotional affairs usually entail: Stage 1: Platonic Friends / Secure Relationship